This Is When I Learned What Dogs Are All About...

So things were going swimmingly. Engaged to be married, living in a beautiful, old home in a quaint suburb filled with bigger, more beautiful old homes… and wonderful 4 month old Clancy, the love of our lives. K and I were sitting on the porch playing with him one hot, St. Louis summer day before she took off for a run, and were marveling at how he was getting better at following our commands and staying on the porch. We were both pretty paranoid about him begin off the leash. That really only happened in the fenced in back yard, otherwise he was kept on a leash. We were big believers in the school of thought that dogs don’t look both ways before they cross the street to say… chase a cat. Even though a part of K wanted him to be free from leashes, we were just too terrified at the idea of him running out into the street and getting hit by a car. We were keep~the~dog~under~control~at~all~times freaks.

K trotted down the steps and took off on her run. “NO, Clancy!” I instructed as he started down the steps after her. He was such a Momma’s dog, and wanted to be with her all the time. I guess she really made a big impression on that terrifying trip away from the kennel. I hadn’t thought about it until I just wrote those words, but that must have been part of the trauma that made her want to return him. She felt in his pained little 8 week old whining his fear of being away from HIS FAMILY! In any event, he looked over his shoulder at me and reluctantly returned to the porch. We played for a moment, but I could still see his little body wanting to trot off after K on her run. “Hey boy,” I said as I kicked his favorite ball in the open front door, “go get your ball.” I was a genius. He followed the ball right inside, and as I was about to follow him in ~ the ball hit a wall in the house, and bounced back out onto the porch. I watched his head go from following the path of the ball to looking up in the direction K had taken of on her run. My “NO CLANCY!” didn’t even register. He was totally focused on the direction the love of his life had just gone, and was charging across the yard before I could move.

I looked up and saw the car coming down the street.

Every other thought was detonated to the edges of my consciousness except one thing ~ everything I had in me was going to stop what was about to happen. I have never experienced anything like what happened inside me that day. The thought of saving Clancy became an instant commitment with my body. I was off the porch before I knew it, charging towards the street… faster than I have ever moved in my life. This would not happen! I was screaming “NO!!! STOP!!!” at the top of my lungs from the second I saw what was happening. Hoping Clancy would stop… hoping the woman would stop. I would swear that EVERYTHING else in a 3 block area did stop… lawns being mowed, dinners being prepared, children playing…

everything except Clancy and the little old lady driving the Volare sedan.

I had made it to the street when I saw Clancy get hit by the car. He just spun around up in the air, and before I could even process how destroyed I was by my worst nightmare happening right in front of me ~ there was some strange action in my world, and everything got kind of jumbled up. Witnesses said I cart wheeled about one and a half times into the air. I just remember coming down hard on the concrete curb on the other side of the street a little dazed and confused.

I had been hit by the car.

I looked up. Where was Clancy? I couldn’t see him. We were at the corner of an intersection and there was a fence I couldn’t see aroujnd. It was the only place he could be. I got up. All I could think is that my little guy had dragged his broken little body behind that fence. I was as scared as I could be at what I was about to look at. I turned the corner and saw…

Clancy hightailing it down the street.

Absolutely burning down the sidewalk in the opposite direction of the house or where K had run off to. Later it made perfect sense when our vet talked about how flexible a little body like Clancy’s was. He just spun around in the air like he was made out of rubber. As I took off after Clancy I didn’t have that reassurance in my mind. I just knew my sweet, loveable, little dog had been hit by one car and as far as I was concerned might be on his way towards more danger. As I charged off after him I started praying… please, PLEASE don’t let him be spared only to be hit by another car.

As I was running down the street, I heard K’s voice cry out behind me, “ARE YOU O.K.?!? ARE YOU O.K.?!?” She had heard my screaming and had run right back towards the house. She knew something was seriously wrong. As she jogged back to the intersection near our house about a half dozen people had gathered and the old lady had run her car up onto the curb, blowing a front tire. “What happened?” she cried. All she was told was that a man had been hit by a car, it looked bad, but he had jumped up and run down the street. I could tell she was running after me, but nothing mattered but getting Clancy to safety. “I’m o.k.!” I yelled over my shoulder. “I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!” she cried back.

I got to the next corner, and didn’t see him. K had caught up to me, and I told her how Clancy had been hit by the car. “THERE HE IS!” she cried, pointing up into a school yard. I started towards him, but the little guy was so shaken up, he started to run off. We understood that it would take some patience and love to reel him in. I left that part to K, while I snuck around the building to cut off his only route of escape. When I came around behind where he had been, K was calling out that she got him.

I walked up slowly, but I was still on my mission. My ex wife was one of the most together, competent women I have ever met, by far the most responsible of the two of us ~ but in that moment I wouldn't have trusted Clancy’s safety to anyone on the face of the planet. She let me gently take him from her arms. Clutching him strongly enough that there was NO CHANCE of him going anywhere, but with all the love and gentleness in my heart, I turned towards home.

Back at the intersection, several police cars had showed up, and the crowd had grown to about 20 people. As I walked through the middle of them I kept getting asked if I was all right. I didn’t stop, but just said, “I’m fine. I’m fine.” The second I cleared the crowd all the trauma of what had just happened… and not happened overcame me. I just started sobbing uncontrollably as walked across the street in front of our house, and something happened that I will never forget.

Little Clancy, who had just been through the scariest experience of his whole life turned his little doggy face towards me with a look of worried concern and compassion in his eyes that I had never even seen in a human before and started furiously licking my face to try to make my pain go away. His whole mission in life at that moment was to make everything all better for me.

All I could think of is “Wow… so this is what dogs are all about…. I just never understood before.”

K stayed with the crowd and answered questions while I took Clancy inside the house. I didn’t let him out of my arms until we were in the kitchen and both doors were closed so there was NO WHERE he could escape to. I hadn’t noticed that my leg was bleeding (turned out I had a bruised bone) until I felt Clancy licking and licking my wound. I was blown away again. I had done nothing to draw attention to my leg. That beautiful little creature just had some magical dog way of knowing what was hurt and was doing his darnest to make that better too. First my shattered emotions, then my banged up leg. I’ll never forget it as long as I live.

I like the Native American saying I heard years later. Great Spirit divided humans from all the animals by breaking open a large chasm. At the last second, before it grew too wide… dog jumped across to stand with man (and women, of course.)

After a little bit K came in and after making sure I was o.k., kind of sheepishly asked if I could help someone. I still can’t imagine how, but the police and everyone had left the little old lady out there with the flat tire. K asked if I wouldn’t mind changing the tire of the car that had just hit Clancy and I. It was too funny for words. I changed the tire and came back in to a hilarious scene. K was holding a tray with glasses of lemonade, and was saying “No Clancy! NO!” to Clancy who was vigourously tugging on the old lady's dress as they were standing in the middle of the living room.

I don't have any digital photos of Clancy from the old days, but as soon as I do I'll replace the one above. In the meantime, that is Clancy (L) and Ukiah (R) after a lot of fun at Stinson Beach. Ukiah turned out to be a Daddy's girl, but Clancy, chasing balls, and I ~ continued to have a long fun relationship. If anyone has read this, thanks for caring enough to do so. I really love those dogs.